rubytrax.com

Can you guess who this mys­tery doucheball is?

YES! It’s Dead Wife Man™ live and in per­son in the Best Buy® Rotunda at the Mall of America® on March 5th. And I was there!

I had no plans to go to MOA that day and had no idea that any (accent on) spe­cial events were sched­uled or any­thing, but I was feel­ing unrea­son­ably agi­tated and decided a long ride on the light rail was in order. It was like DWM was CALLING ME, which cer­tainly explains the awful fid­gety dis­com­fort I experienced.

I tend to ignore what­ever is hap­pen­ing in the rotunda when I get there, so it wasn’t until I’d already done a lap around the mall and skirted by on the sec­ond level that I spot­ted DWM’s cheesy mug smirk­ing at me and I was like OH. YES. Even though my phone bat­tery was at 1 per­cent, I wres­tled to get the cam­era rolling as a curi­ous young man in head-​to-​toe Enyce engaged me in con­ver­sa­tion. Apparently I missed DWM per­form­ing. Oh what a tragedy.

Enyce: Who’s that down there? Is he any­body?
Me: He’s a hor­ri­ble human being who lost on American Idol last year.
Enyce: Oh, but he got a record deal any­way. I see how it is. I don’t remem­ber him.
Me: His whole thing was going on about how his wife died. That and LensCrafters®.
Enyce: He sounded pretty good when he was singing before …
Me: Don’t be fooled! His per­son­al­ity is dis­gust­ing.

I finally got a few pic­tures of the grandeur:

Look at that CROWD! I must remem­ber that as long as AI and MOA remain a potent com­bi­na­tion, I must bring my Flip with me at all times. I could’ve brought you the magic in HD motion!