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  • pieman: You do know that your commentary on this utterly bland and talentless group of Idol wannabees would be...
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R.I.P. Trish Keenan

2011 sure is off to a shitty start

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Idolmild

In case you’re won­der­ing, it’s been a com­bi­na­tion of ill­ness, new job, new job not work­ing out, new ver­sion of the no-​longer-​new job, new ver­sion of the no-​longer-​new job not work­ing out so well either, won­der­ing if I should get a new-​new job, won­der­ing if I should go on dis­abil­ity, my doc­tors telling me I should go on dis­abil­ity, won­der­ing how to afford the wait­ing period before dis­abil­ity kicks in, going broke, more ill­ness, death(s) in the fam­ily, ill­ness, med­ica­tion changes, more ill­ness, going even more broke, bank­ruptcy #2, lit­i­ga­tion, ill­ness, etc. So that’s how it’s been over here.

Now then. You rang?!

I have all the respect in the world for Ms. Jennifer Lopez and lit­tle to no inter­est or patience in 183-​year-​old broke­down Muppet Steven Tyler, so between those two I’m torn about the upcom­ing Idol sea­son. This could be the end of it all and all that but gosh, I just don’t know. Truth is Ms. Jennifer Lopez is too damn good for these clowns and my view­er­ship would be secured if Simon were still around.

I mean, let’s think about the good old days. Remember the good old days?

Who knew we had it so good then?! Don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret for a sec­ond skip­ping out on last sea­son. Oh God. Every time a com­mer­cial would show up on TV I would say THANK HEAVENS! I am not watch­ing this show. So’s I got to think­ing, what would it take to con­vince me to tune in each week with breath­less antic­i­pa­tion of the won­der and the magic and the unpre­dictable je né sais quoi I so cher­ished in the Idol of so many sea­sons ago?

Oh hell YES that would. And don’t even dare to con­vince me that you would do any­thing less than PAY to watch that setup. I know I would install a coin slot and dol­lar changer in my TV and say TAKE EVERYTHING I HAVE, FOR YOU HAVE MADE SOMETHING OF EVERLASTING BEAUTY. Amen.

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Playlist: ‘What a Drag’

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Reason to be cheerful

Dismal though the Bulls are tend­ing to look as of late, there’s great joy to be had in see­ing Brad shave his head again. That is all.

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America, it’s time to laugh again

Can you guess who this mys­tery doucheball is?

YES! It’s Dead Wife Man™ live and in per­son in the Best Buy® Rotunda at the Mall of America® on March 5th. And I was there!

I had no plans to go to MOA that day and had no idea that any (accent on) special […]

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Looking for the action, some­thing more to do

I’ve got a cou­ple posts banked, promise.

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I can’t do what can’t be done

After care­ful con­sid­er­a­tion and soul-​searching dis­cus­sion with my fam­ily, cler­gyper­sons, imag­i­nary friends etc., I have come to the real­iza­tion that there is sim­ply no way I can get involved in this year’s Idol. The rea­sons are many, and here are but a few:

1) Forget it, Jake, it’s Chinatown This show is beyond help and […]

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It’s the most won­der­ful time of the year

I couldn’t pos­si­bly be less excited about the advent of AI right now, but my last day of class is tomor­row (or today, rather) and I don’t have a job which means, um, I have noth­ing else to do. It’s time to be afraid, be very afraid. Mind, I’m far more afraid than you are!

[…]

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Ten-​four good buddy

Yesterday was me and Chris’ sixth anniver­sary. Laugh along as I admit I thought it was actu­ally five years and Chris cor­rected me since he took more math in col­lege than I did. Yes, this really happened.

I sing this song for him every year at the karaōke night near­est our anniver­sary and […]

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I’m alive and on fire

My res­pi­ra­tory sys­tem is on fire, that is. I must have the con­sump­tion or the swine-​bird or some­thing sim­i­larly godaw­ful and it won’t go away. I’ll be back in a sec, but in the mean­time here’s a lovely dream of a man talk­ing about how to make dirty movies. NSFW if you W for […]