idol

It’s a lousy rain­bow anyway

What’s up dawgs. I know I said that I would not get emo­tion­ally invested in “American Idol” this sea­son but I swear this isn’t emo­tional invest­ment. I just got a bee about this Wild Card show. First of all, they must have dug up some­thing on Erskine or he must have told them to suck it or some­thing, because I can­not believe the losers they threw into this round over him. WTF, he was a cool dude.
And then, there was the show.
jon This guy scared the crap out of me. I couldn’t even watch the TV, it was so ter­ri­fy­ing. And then when I would ven­ture a look up at the screen, his face was twisted in this psy­chotic ric­tus that made me think he was either going to shoot Deadly Lasers from his eyes or make everyone’s heads explode like Scanners. Traumatizing.
elizabeth She was good in the audi­tion shows but man, she is dull. Which is sad, since she was good in the audi­tion shows. I’ve got noth­ing else here.
ugh Hey dime­store Kim Novak, what’s up. That was a ghastly insult to Kim Novak, I’m sorry. Have you ever noticed how com­bin­ing “ter­ri­ble” and “hor­rific” makes “ter­rific”? I just did, because I almost wrote that she was ter­rific. Someone should have just walked up out of the audi­ence and taz­ered her, although she prob­a­bly would have done some more of those herky shoul­der things. Oh God, she has got to go. There’s a press release that says “she most iden­ti­fies her own style with that of Beyoncé.” BZZZZT ZAP TAZER TAZER TAZER
george This dude is a lit­tle too … giddy, but a) he’s the only one in this group whose name I man­aged to learn some­how and b) I got up from my com­puter to watch him once he hit the cho­rus, so I guess that counts for some­thing. But before that cho­rus, whoo butt. Enunciation, use it wisely, I thought he was hav­ing a seizure. And his sis­ter in the audi­ence, is she 47? Is he 47? He and the foot­ball dude can get together and rem­i­nisce about the Bay of Pigs and the golden era of Rod Laver.
suzy I like her OK, prob­a­bly due to our (wild guess) Shared Heritage and all, what up sis­ter. If a white girl sang like that, she’d already be in the top 12. Just say­ing.
ugh2 Tonight, on a very spe­cial episode of “The Heights.” As much as I despise Lady Nosejob up there, that is noth­ing com­pared to how much I hate this guy. I actively hate him and every­thing he stands for. Why? Other than that he sucks, I really don’t know, but just look at him. I will buy that girls are hot for John Stevens IV before this guy. He wouldn’t even pass open mic night at Sidewalk Café. I mean, if John Waite had not sung that song before he did, would he even have known how to sing it?! If it had been Stuart Murdoch, would he have sung it with a lisp?! Good Lord. You get the pic­ture.
leah I really really really really like her, and I can’t pos­si­bly say why since she’s not par­tic­u­larly good and tonight she was awful. What in the world was she wear­ing? She looked like Yasmine Bleeth in Babe. But I really like her. She’s just implaca­bly strange and weird and fas­ci­nat­ing and I hope she stays around until I can fig­ure out why I shouldn’t like her any­more. I’m not get­ting emo­tion­ally involved.
jennifer Lady has got to stop cry­ing all the time, I was tired of it four weeks ago. And those faces she makes while she’s singing: Ooh! Oh! Ooh! like she’s being goosed, it’s creepy. But most of all the cry­ing, it has to stop. No more drama. Or Pepto pink dresses.

5 comments to It’s a lousy rain­bow anyway

  • Kim

    The Back Door to Heaven” by Aztec Camera

  • Here is my American Idol ques­tion: Do they need a new sound­man, or has the world gone crazy? Because when­ever I am like, “Oh my butt. That was the most awful per­for­mance ever,” the judges are like, “You did it, dawg. You held it down.” So now I can’t even watch it because it makes me feel insane. Kind of like that creepy scary face-​making guy. He was clearly try­ing to make peo­ple at home have seizures.

  • Kim

    Oh! Oh! Absolutely. I do not under­stand their com­ments half the time. I think the stu­dio is haunted and they must be watch­ing spooky ghosts instead of the actual people.

  • Dollie likes your Shared Heritage girl and just now we watched the results show and she is very sad. Also, that other girl you like, I really don’t know why Paula Abdul picked her. Sorry, I’m just say­ing. Maybe she was try­ing to bring the peo­ple together. After all, the girl did sing, “I want to spend my life with Jew.” One love.

  • Kim

    Hahaha! One love. I love it. I don’t know why Paula picked her either except I guess she had sort-​of said she would on Tuesday so she had to keep her Abdul Promise to the People. Although I’m sure the peo­ple are going to look for­ward to not vot­ing for her. Poor Shared Heritage. Although I don’t nec­es­sar­ily think she’s all that good either, it’s just that if a white girl did sing like her, she’d have no prob­lem get­ting through. Exhibit, Paula’s pick.