… and the good girls get to know about it

I’m sick of loooove/​I wish I’d never met yoooou
The ver­dict is in, the Bob/​VS ads rule. The new one with the hat? Forget about it. Do you think Bob actu­ally inter­acted with any of the mod­els, or did they just film him sep­a­rately? Like, a year after they filmed any­one else? I need to know!!! Maybe all will be revealed over the course of a few months, like in those Taster’s Choice ads. Oh man. At last, some­thing that I won’t hate see­ing dur­ing NBC Daytime.
Also, Bob can pre­dict the future. Thanks to Justin for direct­ing me to the awe­some evi­dence.
Oh yeah, I neglected to men­tion that I am about as far from sur­prised about the AI results as is humanly pos­si­ble.
Well, I guess the only thing I’m sur­prised about is that she lasted as long as she did. Snore. Although it’s impres­sive that she went ahead and redid the hor­ri­bly crappy fin­ish of that song again on Wednesday, like she actu­ally wanted to go out like that. She must really enjoy doing people’s hair.
Man, was she pissed. Hahahaha. She’s an OK singer but so dull! And she’s mar­ried with step­kids, she’s prac­ti­cally an old lady. Nobody likes old ladies unless they’re smok­ing weed in Ice Cube movies.
I have to admit I like her more and more each week. Her per­for­mances seem to get loonier like she’s sens­ing that she doesn’t have much time left any­way so she has noth­ing to lose. Remember the first week when she ended up in the bot­tom two and they had her sing and she was all like, “What the hell, I’ll just go WAHWYEAIHEHAEYAHHA”? Entertaining.
Oh man, so unbear­ably bad, but no way did I think he would end up in the bot­tom three. My genius is val­i­dated once again, although I don’t think it’s far­fetched at all that he wouldn’t even get called out after that dis­as­ter. Yet appar­ently some peo­ple are SHOCKED by it. This guy has too many girls think­ing that he is their imag­i­nary emas­cu­lated boyfriend. If any­thing his bad per­for­mances will make even more peo­ple call in for him. As Cathy Dennis and Dancin’ Danny D would say, that’s the way of the world. I should really pub­lish my pre­dic­tions on Tuesdays but the gov­ern­ment might rec­og­nize my bril­liance and kid­nap me for some devi­ous think­tank.
Once again, I’m a genius. She’s still hor­ri­ble, and she LOOKED hor­ri­ble on Tuesday. She looked much cuter on Wednesday, like she learned her les­son. Good girl. I don’t like her voice though, she just sounds like she has aller­gies. And maybe now she can stop ges­tur­ing like a spazz while she sings? Doubtful. Unless she totally tears it up, I bet there’ll be a wicked back­lash next week though.
Ugh. She must have thought she was back on “America’s Most Talented Kid,” that was frig­ging unbear­able. The whole time I kept say­ing, “I’m hun­gry for some Applebee’s.” I hated it and I just want her and her pinchy face to go away.
She did her thing, dawg, she held it down. Whatever.
Christopher’s root­ing for him now, which is shock­ing that he would root for any­body on AI. I guess he’s been won over by his giddy sunny squatty charm. Out of every­one, I guess I like him and Fantasia best, which is hardly going out on a craaazy limb or any­thing. But I’m not all “Oh man, so so awe­some” about any­body like I’ve been before.
She was not good at all! She’s really get­ting worse as the weeks go on it seems, like Camile is rub­bing off on her. ‘Sup, keep it real my sis­ters.
Oh Jesus. I can no longer look at the TV when he is on, ever, at all. Why can’t he have some crazy scan­dal come out so he can finally get the boot and the suf­fer­ing can end? Obviously the Smoking Gun isn’t doing its job properly.

2 comments to … and the good girls get to know about it

  • Kim

    First Boy in This Town (Lovesick)” by Scritti Politti

  • pieman

    And here’s the com­men­tary! Thanks so much.
    I was not SHOCKED that Johnny Red wasn’t in the bot­tom three, but mildly sur­prised. He was so awful, I couldn’t imag­ine vot­ing for him (and my wife and I had voted for him in the past).
    Jennifer is just weird­ing out now. She needs to go home.
    Chris has got the cor­rect root­ing inter­est now, though. George is the dawg, dawg.
    This review made me laugh numer­ous times. I enjoyed it tremen­dously. Have you thought about cross-​posting it to the W. I am sure there’s at least two or three peo­ple that aren’t total morons there that would appre­ci­ate it.