Oh no no no

Poor Elton, hav­ing to endure the pain of these losers butcher­ing his beau­ti­ful songs. I know I said I wasn’t going to do any of this after the Tuesday shows, but I just won’t make any pre­dic­tions, how about that. Complaining? Oh yes.
He’s got that Scanners face on again. I hate him. I’d say he sounded like a Muppet, but that’s demean­ing to the Muppet Community. Elton should punk this bitch out in an alley­way. Christopher: “You know, a rocket strapped to his ass could fly him off this show.” You see why I mar­ried him.
The bravado is get­ting a lit­tle ooold, lady, tone it down. Although if it came down to her and, say, Jon Peter Mellencamp in the final episode, I have to admit you’d prob­a­bly see me dial­ing a phone or two.
I cried a lit­tle when they showed her meet­ing Elton, because I’m sure I would do the same thing in that sit­u­a­tion. I cried a lit­tle when she sang, because it was so nasty. Mahalo.
How many of those lyrics did she screw up? About 20%? Her whole per­for­mance sounded like a car alarm, a big monot­one EHHHEHHHHEHHH. She’s no George Michael. But then, is any­one? ‘Sup sis­ter, Filipina pride.
I’m not big on “Circle of Life” so I thought this was just aiight in R. Jackson par­lance. The suit and hair were not cute. She looked cuter in the rehearsal footage.
Our house is now firmly a George house, as I real­ized I was try­ing to pre­dict which song he would sing tonight, a sure sign that I now care. Dammit. I was think­ing maybe “Levon” but oooh, “Take Me to the Pilot,” deece, got to give it up for the deep(ish) cut. Now if only he could stop act­ing like a gigan­tic spazz when he’s not singing. I love you Paula I love you
“Someone Saved My Life Tonight,” oh the irony if that ends up being her final per­for­mance after get­ting booted off Wednesday night. She prob­a­bly won’t, but I didn’t think she was all that good. This song is tough to sing and mean it.
“I’m Still Standing,” oh the irony if that ends up being her final per­for­mance after get­ting booted off Wednesday night. That song is tough to sing and not just plain suck. Also I don’t like her, so I am pray­ing for at least a bot­tom three show­ing to put the fear of God in her. A good God, a right­eous God, how appro­pri­ate for Holy Week. Christopher: “She’s sick? Is it morn­ing sick­ness?” Girl looks like she’s been hit­ting the Hostess, for real. I guess I’ve made it clear that I don’t like her.
Sweet Jesus, WTF. You know, “Crocodile Rock” is a song I don’t even like hear­ing when it’s by Elton John him­self. He must be try­ing to get canned on pur­pose. He is the Jayson Blair of “American Idol.” There are no words.

2 comments to Oh no no no

  • Kim

    Rocket Man” by Elton John

  • pieman

    I can’t believe Chris is actu­ally watch­ing this show, too. George is the last hope of this show. The other eight should be shit­canned now. Maybe they can get Scooter Girl or Scat Girl back. Hell, William Hung would not have looked so bad tonight. No sir.