I’m tired of these peo­ple and we’re not even close to the Top 12 yet. Dame. I per­son­ally would like to hear some­one bust out “Answering Machine” tonight. Or per­haps “A Strange Place (The Alezby Inn).” TIP!!
Ai07 Gina
She hears the tick­ing of the cock, appar­ently. I don’t under­stand the strat­egy of doing songs that other con­tes­tants were known for “rock­ing” in pre­vi­ous years. And then hav­ing the back­ground singers out-​sing you. A.J. likes it! Well, then, I’m con­vinced. I still like her in that root for the under­doggy way.

Ai07 Alaina
Aww, she and her mom are so cute. Her lit­tle girl party dress is weird. I keep want­ing to sing “Closing Time” along with this song, WHY IS THAT. I don’t think this sounded as bad as the judges thought it sounded, WTF. I still like her for some crazy rea­son, like she’s cute in a P.J. Soles kind of way, which is always a plus in my book. Not that that makes her more qual­i­fied to stay on this show.

Ai07 Lakisha
She looks so cute tonight! Aww, and cute grandma. I love cute grandma. Why does it seem like she’s only singing 40 per­cent of what she should be singing? Paula tells her she loves her. Oh, what a beau­ti­ful day of emo­tion. Simon doesn’t like the out­fit? Too col­or­ful? The hell? This is back­wards day.

Ai07 Melinda
Damn, girl.

Ai07 Antonella
I just don’t care. I’m not being lazy or try­ing to get this over with ’cause it’s late but I seri­ously do not care.

Ai07 Jordin
Oh wow, that was ter­ri­ble. Oh hey, I guess she was SOBBING through the whole thing. Well then. I guess songs from Mulan do that to peo­ple. She finds solace in the lov­ing embrace of Ryan Seacrest. Good gra­cious, who wouldn’t.

Ai07 Stephanie
She’s adorable. I hope she doesn’t do any­thing to make me hate her. Oh, oops, this song might actu­ally do that. I mean, “Dangerously in Love” sounds F-​ed up and falling off the rails on pur­pose. It is a long that ALWAYS sounds like crap. What an odd choice. I also don’t believe any­one ever con­nects from vot­ers when doing songs by: a) Alicia Keys b) Mary J. Blige c) Beyoncé. Oh well.

Ai07 Leslie
She has SUCH a Chicago accent. And oh WAIT, she’s doing the A.J. song from yes­ter­day? That is SUCH a BITCH MOVE. Along with wear­ing knee-​length leg­gings under a skirt. That whole out­fit is kind of sad. A dras­tic step back­wards from last week. THE OUTFITS ARE ALL YOU HAVE. That ended really spazz­ily.

Ai07 Haley
The pic­ture of her and her boyfriend looks like a dat­ing ser­vice Web ad. “I’m doing some­thing hot tonight!” Oh wait a sec­ond, “Queen of the Night.” I’m going to repeat that: “Queen of the Night.” Once again, that’s “Queen of the Night.” Yes, “Queen of the Night.” I am sim­ply at a loss for words.

Ai07 Sabrina
Oh no, the “he fills me up, he gives me love” song. KEY CHANGE! This is shrieky-​ass-​shrieky. Her out­fit is crappy. Why does this end the show? Who is asleep at the switch? What am I doing here?

That ended badly. What a let­down. Oh, what was I expect­ing anyway.

2 comments to Beyoncé-​ish

  • pieman

    Melinda Doolittle is in a dif­fer­ent class than the rest of these “singers.“

  • Have I told you lately that these are my rea­son for liv­ing? Because they are.
    Also, I’m pretty sure Melinda is my best from grade school’s mom. Or Iyanla. Either way, she’s about 56. And a very nice lady.