idol

An all-​around onslaught … of talent!

Are you hav­ing a laugh? Is he hav­ing a laugh?!
Nice to see Haley invested in a shirt with built-​in bal­loons. Chris seems dis­ap­pointed to have missed last night’s per­for­mance on the basis of the five sec­onds of fre­netic formal-​shorts shim­my­ing the rest of us all relive at the top of the show. (“But … I’m see­ing this out of con­text!”)
I weep for the exclu­sion of Up With People tonight in favor of Peter Noone (God bless him) zazz­ing it up with “There’s a Kind of Hushhhhhhhh.” Really, the dude loves going “shh­h­hhh.” He per­forms some sort of gyra­tion in the direc­tion of Gina and Chris R. that appar­ently SCANDALIZES! them. I am not even inspired to rewind to see it for myself. I explain these things for the ben­e­fit of my brother, who reads my crap instead of watch­ing the show. He’s the smart one!
Warning: This pic­ture might give you can­cer.
Oh cruel fate, you give us a bot­tom two this week:
Ai07 ChrisAi07 Stephanie
It was the out­fit, I’m telling you. How can this con­vey any­thing other than “reme­dial”?
Ai 07 Special Chris
It’s the total pack­age. It’s Sling Blade. Sexsational. So much for ladies lik­ing ‘em big and stu­pid.
But before we announce the loser, here’s LULU! She is the very def­i­n­i­tion of “over the top” and I don’t just mean her knock­ers in that out­fit. I hope I look that hot when I’m 80!
Ai07 Stephanie
Is it any sur­prise who’s going home? Aww, so long Stephanie. You were too cute for this show. SAVE YOURSELF! The end.

2 comments to An all-​around onslaught … of talent!

  • Joey

    Is the wrist­band there to sig­nify to secu­rity that, con­trary to what one might ini­tially think, he’s actu­ally sup­posed to be allowed back­stage?
    Sweet Jesus, those out­fits. Thank you for fil­ter­ing out the evil for me.

  • pieman

    Now I am con­vinced that the sweater belongs to Chris’ lit­tle sis­ter. Dumbass.
    Beatbox Blake rules!!!