Raised more than eyebrows

Raised what, Ryan? What does that even mean?
I’m still pon­der­ing this week’s so-​called theme, that being No Doubt and the artists who inspired No Doubt. I mean, it seems like they’re cast­ing the net pretty wide there, but I think I’ve man­aged to nar­row it down to the fol­low­ing:
Ozark Mountain Daredevils
Las Ketchup
the Carter Family
Sweet Sensation
Close Lobsters
Pablo Cruise
Kenny Rogers
Jars of Clay
the Shop Assistants
Little River Band
Frank Sinatra Jr.
Dif Juz
Stone Temple PIlots
Daryl Hall (solo only)
Sunny Day Real Estate
Jeremy Jordan … all right
5 Neat Guys
Spanky and Our Gang
Tom T. Hall
Gino Vannelli
New Kids on the Block
the Killers
Stevie Wonder
Tina and the B-​Side Movement
the Eagles
Robbie Williams (the singer, not the rap­per)
GG Allin
the Connells
God’s Property From Kirk Franklin’s Nu Nation
Purple Ivy Shadows
Harry Belafonte
Down by Law
Robbie Dupree
Young Fresh Fellows
Mel & Kim
Jeff Buckley
the Monochrome Set
Front 242
Carole King
Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
Heavy D & the Boyz
Gwen Stefani
10 Years After
Think that about cov­ers it, give or take a few. See, not so far-​fetched after all.
ON WITH THE SHOW. Ryan tells us there was No Doubt! it was going to be a big night! I still can’t believe how awful this show was. I’m even depressed by the AI-​Ford music video.
As promised, con­tin­ued proof that this man is all that is evil and unholy in this world and every other:
Ai Blake Sweet Jesus Make It Stop
What kind of mind would even come up with that? I want every­one involved to be rounded up, whether you made it, wore it or allowed it on TV. I demand jus­tice.
I’m tired of these peo­ple who are just not sur­prised that they’re not in the bot­tom two/​three/​whatever. BUT OF COURSE I’M SAFE, OH TALENTED TALENTED ME. These douches don’t have the right.
Hahaha, Bo Bice. He’ll always be “Bo Butt” to me.
This Gwen Stefani spe­cial is spon­sored by COKE! No one knows bet­ter than Gwen Stefani: Coke is it!
By the power of Grayskull, who is our bot­tom three this week:
Ai07 PhilAi07 HaleyAi07 Chriss
Chris(topher) hopes “the slut” is stay­ing. But Chris S. loves Jesus!
Ai07 Chriss
Well then. I can’t pos­si­bly be sur­prised to see any of these peo­ple leave. But I still think “You guys are prob­a­bly won­der­ing why I called this meet­ing” is funny. Chris(topher) says it was all over when he said he was mar­ried, ’cause “chicks dig fat guys.” He then points out how absolutely NO ONE seems remotely upset to see him go. Smiling and clap­ping for Tubby the Clown. Yup. What a way to go.

Sigh. Oh despon­dence. What to do?
Be Be Beaver Boyz
Ahhh, bless you, Dilly and Krunk. You make the pain go away.

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