I’m so self-​absorbed into my music

Is my favorite safe? Do I have a favorite? It is a sad state of affairs that I would rather be doing my home­work than watch­ing this show. Seriously, I had to TEAR MYSELF AWAY from review­ing updated aca­d­e­mic pol­icy. THIS is American Idol!

Just by Ryan’s intro, I already know that I des­per­ately wish I had the power to fast for­ward. Yes we’re watch­ing this live. It’s painful!

Up With People per­form “9 to 5″! Someone has once again for­got­ten to turn Ramiele’s mic on. Michael is wear­ing a Dolly T-​shirt. He is being cre­ative with the lyrics and his crotch is ter­ri­fy­ing. It’s painful watch­ing these “cool” peo­ple attempt to be “ironic” with the hokey chore­og­ra­phy they’re dealt. Except Jason, he can do whatver the hell he wants. I don’t think he has the men­tal capa­bil­ity to actu­ally be ironic about any­thing ever. There’s a Chikezie sight­ing and Chris FREAKS OUT. He notes there were no open­ing cred­its for this show (unless we some­how missed them). This show is THAT stacked. How appro­pri­ate for Dolly Parton!

Is it my imag­i­na­tion, or is Kristy the only per­son on this show who knows how to dress for the stage? Are David C.‘s eye­brows get­ting thin­ner? Why does Syesha look like she had a deflated popover on her head last night? Why do I always say “cra­vat” instead of “ascot”?

I’m check­ing out dur­ing the live phone calls. Zzzzz. I’m dream­ing about course descrip­tions and chang­ing hun­dreds of “Prerequisite(s)” to either “Prerequisite” or “Prerequisites”. I don’t care about the Next Whatever American Band. That singer looks ter­ri­fied. Chris: “David Flair?!” That man­dolin player is FEELING IT. Is that even a man­dolin? I have no idea. Chris and I agree that “This Little Light of Mine” is a strange choice. This feels like it’s nine min­utes long.

Tonight’s FORD MUSIC VIDEO! brings us “It’s Tricky.” The con­cept involves bas­ket­ball and black peo­ple! I have noth­ing else to say!

Let’s catch up with Bucky and Phil and Bo Butt!

Bucky looks about 40. Phil looks like he is “bald Jeff Goldblum” who “ate his baby” (both ™ Chris). Bo is recov­er­ing from intesti­nal surgery with help from his dogs and build­ing a record­ing stu­dio! He’s putting out an album in last October! He’s so self-​absorbed into his music! I still call him “Bo Butt”! THIS is American Idol!

WHO is in the uncom­fort­able stools tonight?

ai08_ramielem.jpgOh no, tiny lady! Sad pout­ing! It is to cry!

ai08_kristylc.jpgThe ulti­mate indig­nity: Paula calls her “Krissy.“

ai08_brookew.jpgI can’t even believe she is demand­ing Simon to apol­o­gize to her. No amount of sexy wink­ing will make that tol­er­a­ble!

BTW, if you’re going to cover “Jolene,” this is how you do it:

I wanted to be Rose McDowall SO BAD. OK, still do.

Temperatures are ris­ing! Some girl got abducted, or maybe she didn’t! Foreclosures! All this plus a wild police chase through the Twin Cities—TONIGHT on the Fox 9 News at 9!

Aww, Ramiele and Brooke are so teary-​eyed. Kristy is pos­i­tively giddy, bless her.

Aww, Dolly! Singing about Jesus and grav­ity! Chris: “She’s been spend­ing years curs­ing grav­ity.” For a sec­ond when Dolly’s song started, I thought it was “Paranoid Android.” And I swear it had noth­ing to do with yes­ter­day. I really thought it was “Paranoid Android.” What’s in my drink?! Holly Robinson Peete approves!

STOP TALKING BROOKE PLEASE STOP TALKING. What a drama queen, Jesus. Who goes home?

ai08_ramielem.jpgOh no, tiny lady!!!!!!! Our peo­ple gave up on you! Soooo much cry­ing. You never lived up to your poten­tial, and for that I, too, weep. And she still sings! What a pro.

Boy, Syesha and Carly sure look happy, don’t they? So does Jason, but dude’s ALWAYS happy. Also, I need to find out what kind of eye­liner Ramiele is wear­ing, because a) it is hot and b) it’s clearly got stay­ing power. Though sadly, not enough Pinoy power.


2 comments to I’m so self-​absorbed into my music

  • SchippeWreck

    I for­got to vote. I failed the tiny lady. Oh Lo’!

  • tammy

    RE: Jason’s danc­ing dur­ing 9 to 5… Scarecrow chore­og­ra­phy! Loved the lit­tle kick-​hop.
    RE: Dolly’s per­for­mance, an exchange between me and my BF,
    Me: I like her shoes.
    BF: Who’s look­ing at her shoes?
    Me: Well, she cer­tainly can’t see them!