Captain Douchebag’s on the phone

I know you hate “The Restaurant” because it is unwatch­able and every­one on it is the most despi­ca­ble human being ever to be seen on tele­vi­sion. Yes, this is all entirely true! But this sea­son, with the whole point being that Rocco is a hor­ri­ble per­son who has no busi­ness run­ning a restau­rant, is sub­lime and a sheer plea­sure to watch. Even creepy intern Drew got his come­up­pance, but only after get­ting the fan­tas­tic zinger in on Rocco before he left. (This line serves as this entry’s title, in case you didn’t watch. And I know you prob­a­bly didn’t watch.) If I was going to get fired work­ing for Rocco, I’d get fired for call­ing him a douchebag too. Yes, all the peo­ple are still hate­ful dis­gust­ing excuses for human beings and that new bar­tender is a vile (male!!!) plas­tic surgery dis­as­ter. But at least, aside from being so pop­u­lated with hor­rific ass­butts that it can only be watched from behind a large pil­low with a large cush­ion of alco­hol, “The Restaurant” now oper­ates on the real­iza­tion that Rocco is a gigan­tic incom­pe­tent pig. And yet he’s still a cre­ative con­sul­tant on this show!!! That dude is a mess. I hope Dr. Marlena Evans kills him on Wednesday on “Days of Our Lives.”

2 comments to Captain Douchebag’s on the phone

  • Can I please tell you that I now watch and enjoy “The Restaurant”? Because you know I thought any­one who watched it was insane. But now, I like it. And not even for the rea­sons you say. I do hate every­one, but I like Rocco! Is it because I just learned he is from Queens? Is it because he was the only nice judge on “The View“‘s cook­ing con­test? Is it because he is the (some­what) straight Thom? Maybe. Also, I think I know that Drew guy from some­where. Ugh.

  • Kim

    Oh! Maybe if you watched the first sea­son you would hate him, but the Queens love, I know it is strong. I saw in NYT that Lidia of Lidia’s Italian Food TV Shows really likes him and thinks he’s a lov­ing car­ing sweet­heart and that this whole show is an awful mess. And I love Lidia. But he reminds me too much of awful for­mer bosses who were my age at a cer­tain book pack­ager, the ones who thought cre­at­ing drama was more impor­tant than get­ting work done. I am so happy you are watch­ing! It is addictive.